Be yourself” is a saying you’ve likely seen or heard fifteen times already today. The idea behind the phrase takes on several different meanings. One is the “forget the world” variety, which tells us to throw out all social conventions, all care or thought of others and their opinions, and just do what we feel like. But then we realize this won’t work because we actually do care about what other people think. And that’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s a good thing to want and even need this kind of connection with others.
There is also the “you’re perfect just the way you are” version of “be yourself,” which insists that personal growth, life improvement, and want to be a better person betrays your true self. Just be your own flawed self. Let the cards lie as they may. But a world where no one cares to grow or improve sounds like a new kind of hell. That’s a world with no apologies and no forgiveness, no aha moments, and no newness. That’s not a world any of us want. We all have things to apologize for and new places to try to get to.
Maybe what we should mean by “be yourself” is that we each have a unique purpose in life. You can want to be loved by others and still be yourself. You can want to grow and still be yourself. Maybe being ourselves isn’t a commitment to static individualism, but a commitment to our own unique journey to fullness. “Be yourself” can mean I’ll be me, you be you, and together each of us can be more of who we were meant to be.
People tend to pin who they are on what they do and on what people think of what they do. This is true whether a person works for pay or works at home caring for a family. Identity gets tied to activity. We think we are what we do. And the better we do it, the better version of ourselves we think we become.
This kind of thinking leads either to despairing perfectionism or a sense of pointlessness. At some point, we’ll look down that ladder and find we are no happier where we are now than we were at the bottom. Society tends to applaud architects more than waiters, so we assume that a better career will give life more meaning. But careers can fall as fast as they rise, so they are poor foundations for any lasting peace.
Sometimes we think that if we could just perfect our work—or at least the image of our work that others have of it—then maybe we could finally quiet the storms of doubt in our heads. But that’s a false hope too. There is no perfecting our work because there is no perfecting us.
Finding peace in identity and purpose means finding something deeper than work to base it all on. We have to find a truth and a reality that goes beyond what we do or how we present ourselves to the world. We have to find an identity that gives meaning to our activity, not the other way around. We definitely need a purpose higher than the opinions and likes of others.
I don’t know what you are waiting on God for, but I can tell you he’s worth the wait. He keeps his promises. The I Am Second organization has spent the last decade telling the stories of people who have found him trustworthy. Some saw their prayers answered and their dreams filled. Some are still waiting. But all of them experienced God keeping promises to know he’ll pull through in the end. They each came out saying, “I am Second. He is First. He will fix this mess and bring me peace.”
The Bible tells this same story over and over again. God loves His people, even though His people run away and pursue their own desires. Apart from God, they find there is only pain, disappointment, and ultimately death. God never gives up on his people. (He won’t give up on you.) He sent his one and only Son, Jesus, to build the bridge back to him. Jesus died a gruesome death on the cross, was buried, and rose again three days later. In his resurrection, he accomplished the defeat of death itself, the ultimate enemy of us all.
Whatever your struggle, whatever your pain, God has it beat. He has a plan. I have told him often how I wish he would tell me more of his plan. I would like more of an explanation for some of the hardships I’ve faced. I’m sure you would too. But I can say, and I’ll say it with the chorus of Seconds who have also shared their stories: he can still be trusted.
We have seen him.
We have touched him.
We have heard his voice.
We have found his peace while we wait for the day.
Trust Jesus.
